(cont’d) I also understand why readers of my ask could think I am blaming the victim. There’s really no easy way to put my thoughts out there (thoughts that I’m sure contain biases, and conflicted/mis-information), so if they read like I am victim-blaming then that’s my doing something wrong on my part of communicating my thoughts, and I’m sorry, and I’m a work in progress trying to make sense of a dating world that doesn’t make sense to me. I also felt uneasy sending an ask that (3/4)
would be read by a big audience, but I figured my educating myself (and hopefully other men) meant more to me than staying in my safe little corner and not learning anything. If I’m made to confront biases that I didn’t realize I had (by people pointing out the biases), then I think that’s a step toward my becoming a better person. If any of the readers are interested in continuing this topic with me privately, they are more than welcome to do that too. Thanks for the book suggestion too! (4/4)
Thanks for your willingness to challenge your own abusive capabilities and for your strong desire to unlearn the toxic teachings you have been raised to be and believe as a man. Definitely check out that book on abuse
and remember how important the work you’re doing is, for not only yourself but every woman you encounter and are in relationship with in the future.